The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
