my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I've blown a few things in my day
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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