nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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