need another drink. this is the easiest way
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
