Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
