I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
