I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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