Walk of Shame. In a state park.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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