VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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