She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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