if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
