I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
