i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
