Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
