Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
