I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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