yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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