you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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