Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
