Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize