i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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