oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
