I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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