Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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