whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
