I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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