Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
