I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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