I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
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