new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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