I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
