i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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