i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
