I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
