It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
