How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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