I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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