We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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