from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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