went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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