My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
