So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
well you can't waste a boner
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
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he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
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Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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