I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I wish I could teleport
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
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just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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