So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Help. Why am I so naked?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
