I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
