new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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