party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
