their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
