I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize