11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I wish I only lived at night.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize