She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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