I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
