She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
