I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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