New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
So. Much. Porn.
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