I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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