Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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