he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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